i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
false alarm, still single
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
