Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Bring me that man meat
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
