How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
