I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
