yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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