Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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