Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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