I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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