How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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