Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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