what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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