this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
