You can't motorboat a personality
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
