you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
