you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
