if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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