I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
