What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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