dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize