Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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