1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
