dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
