How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i came on her dog
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The power of my boobs compel you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
