There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
