Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
