Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well you can't waste a boner
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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