i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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