This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
not ubering you a puppy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
