so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
be right there i have to get my cape
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
