think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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