When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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