So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize