So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
