My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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