i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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