Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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