u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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