I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
