Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
