I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
