We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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