I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
