I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
