What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
