does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
