I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
