Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
