is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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