Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
