I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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