when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
