you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
