sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
