You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm both gender and math confused
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
