is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
