i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize