dude i'm inner monologue high
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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