he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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