God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
