my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
