Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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