everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
