chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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