My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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