I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
