Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
